The Young and the Tasteless

“Bitch I wish you would burn my motherf**ken clothes”

TYATT Classic: Photoshop, celebrities, and unsuspecting children (Via Shiantology.com)

There are few times in life where I am actually rendered speechless, but this may actually be one of those moments. Since my brain is still bouncing back from the mindfuck that is the video posted below, I will take a moment to show you the organic process behind TYATT posts. Just about an hour ago, I read about Fidel stepping down in Cuba. While viewing an image of young fidel, I instantly identified a certain “Shia” quality in the photo. Then, after posting the previous blog, FlashPhilly sent me the worst/best thing I have viewed in a long time. Now, I must address all of the “Shiantology” that goes along with this:

I immediately felt the need to learn everything about the so-called “Shiantology,” so I proceeded to the official website’s about me page. In their own words, “Shiantology” is:

“A new religion founded on Sunday, February 8, 2009 and characterized by a belief in the power of Shia’s spirit to clear itself of past painful experiences (in particular, hand smashing car crashes and drunken outbursts in Walgreens) through self-knowledge, spiritual fulfillment and copious amounts of Arizona Ice Tea.”

In order to completely blow your mind, please click here to look at the numerous blasphemous artistic works of iconoclasm. I really have to give this website credit—They have taken to the next level my own tasteless photoshops and created what is to me one of the more bizarre websites on the internetz. Keep it up Shiantology!

This reference of "striking out" is pretty clear, right?

Who will fill his shoes? Well I found one person that at least can fill his hat….

Style Twinsies

On a side note: I was looking at Perez’s blog post on Fidel’s resignation from his party’s leadership, and I noticed that Young Fidel looks eerily like one of the biggest letdowns in young Hollywood:

Shia- is that you?

Don't even get me started on this whole James Dean look...

Might as well make the poor kid a eunuch.

As many of you probably know, people all over the country are getting their panties in a bunch over a picture in the April J. Crew catalogue depicting a little boy with his toenails painted pink. YES. His TOENAILS are painted PINK. If you are actually shocked and horrified by that previous statement, please click out of my website and never come back again. My good friend over at FlashPhilly sent me an article on The Lookout detailing this fiasco, and here are some of the highlights:

“Yeah, well, it may be fun and games now, Jenna, but at least put some money aside for psychotherapy for the kid—and maybe a little for others who’ll be affected by your ‘innocent’ pleasure,” Dr. Keith Ablow wrote in a Fox News op-ed. “If you have no problem with the J. Crew ad, how about one in which a little boy models a sundress? What could possibly be the problem with that?”

Well, Dr. Keith Ablow, here are some alternative costumes that I think are exactly what you are looking for. Think of this pink toenail polish as the gateway costume to years of psychotherapy. Here is what would actually disturb me in a J. Crew catalogue. How about a little boy in:

Description from Horror-Shop.com: This black latex mask could be used in a dominatrix's studio as well as in one of Clive Barker's Hellraiser movies or horror movie classics like Bogeyman, Saw or Hostel!

Pink toenail polish is still looking pretty awful, right?

At least little Jimmy is participating in organized sports.

I really try not to post things that are directly related to my personal life on TYATT, but for today, you get a rare peek behind the curtain…..

Anonymous male friend. No, this photo is not flipped to a different angle. Although my eyesight might have been.

Note to self: Drinking 4 communal punch bowls between 3 people at the Hurricane Club is NEVER a good idea.

I know it has been a while since I have posted anything and for all 7 of you that are upset about that, I am sorry. I am getting back into the swing of things, and it seems that the official trailer for the new movie Hesher is a great way to do so. This premiered at Sundance next week and has all of the ingredients for an “Indie” hit. We have Joseph Gordon-Levitt looking like a cracked out Jesus with stick figure tattoos covering his body. We have Natalie Portman wearing large glasses that are supposed to make her look like a normal human being as opposed to the gorgeous, oscar-winning woman she actually is. We have a lost child looking for some guidance. If there is a dance sequence in the film reminiscent of Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine, the transformation to mainstream cinema will almost be complete. Thoughts?

This week marks the 22nd birthday of my sister as well as the first birthday of my cat. Since I like them both equally, I decided to get them a joint present that neither of them will really appreciate. Enter: Wonderful and Creepy Snowglobes

Nothing says "Happy Birthday" like chronicling the struggles of two escaped convicts in the woods on a snowy evening. (Images from Inventor Spot)

Usually gifts are supposed to symbolize how much a person (or cat) means to you. This is typically achieved by purchasing or making something that you know they will cherish and hold dear to their heart. However, this year, I have decided to only give gifts that are dear to me and that are usually neither cherished nor dear to a person (or cat’s) heart. Ask my sister about the fertility candle I made her last week.

Anyways, Walter Martin and Paloma Munoz have been selling these delightfully disturbing snow globes since 1993. They only cost $750. The following pictures were all over the internet in 2008 (I know, I am so 2000 and LATE), but I couldn’t help posting these with the eventual goal of finally getting ad revenue on my website, and after collecting coins from advertisers for hundereds of years, finally being able to buy one of these for my sister and cat.  (more…)